


It makes you human

by Lilliclementi93



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Acceptance, Anger, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Choices, Desert Island, Developing Relationship, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Compromised, Established Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/M, Feels, Felicity is a BAMF, Fights, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Growth, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Kidnapping, Lian Yu, Love, Love Confessions, Major Character Injury, Personal Growth, Protective Felicity, Protective Oliver, Protectiveness, Psychological Drama, Rage, Relationship Discussions, Season Finale, Self-Acceptance, Speculation, Survival, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 17:04:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10971585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilliclementi93/pseuds/Lilliclementi93
Summary: Felicity and the team are brought on Lian-Yu by Adrian Chase to make Oliver suffer.Soon she finds herself willing to do whatever is necessary to stop Prometheus, even lose herself in the process.Will she give up to the rage?Will Oliver be able to save her, even from herself?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I don't really know what this is. I wrote it at one in the morning and I decided to post it just for fun.  
> There will be two parts I think, the second will be up before the finale.
> 
> I apologize if isn't great, I literally wrote it in a few hours.  
> And as always, I apologize for any errors you might find, English is not my first language.  
> I'd love to read your thoughts and suggestions.  
> Happy reading!

_This waking nightmare lingers_  
_when will the mirror stop telling lies_  
_I don't know where i've been_  
_or where i'm going_  
_But I can't do it alone_  
_I'm reaching out_  
  
  
_Rescue me_  
_Show me who I am_  
_'Cause I can't believe_  
_This is how the story ends_  
  
_Fight for me_  
_If it's not too late_  
_Help me breathe again_  
_No, this can't be how the story ends_

_Rescue Me - Kerrie Roberts_

 

 

“Relax—Enjoy the weather.”

The chilling voice of Adrian Chase sent a shiver down Felicity’s spine and she shifted closer to John, who was tied beside her at the same chain.

As soon as he came into vision, the rage she felt toward the man came crashing down on her and the fear of the situation was replaced only by anger.

Felicity followed him with her eyes as he made his way to the group, smirking at each and every one of them until he stopped.

Right in front of her.

“Ms. Smoak” His tone was almost playful.

She remained silent but her eyes never left his. There was no way she was showing fear. He sustained her glance until Curtis said something to make him turn.

“As much as I would like to stay here, I have some business to attend. But don’t worry, we’ll see each other soon.” He addressed the soldier of the League. “Take them.”

She felt a rough hand grabbing her arm and yanking her to her feet along with the others.

“Ms. Smoak will come with me.”

Felicity's eyes snapped to Adrian and when one of the soldiers released her handcuffs from the others, he made his way to her.

He moved to stand in front of her, just a few inches separating them and she had to tilt her head back to look at him.

“We’re going to have some fun—Felicity.” Her name rolled out of his mouth and almost made her gag. “Fuck _you_.” She spat out the words with all the rage and disgust she could find in herself, never breaking his stare.

He just smirked, grabbing her forcefully by the arm and dragging her back towards the woods, away from her friends.

She turned in time to see the others screaming for her. When John tried to move to follow her one of Adrian’s man kneeled him in the stomach and he dropped to the ground.

* * *

 

They walked in the woods for a while. She was trying to keep her eyes open to anything that would help her recognize where she was and give her some sort of orientation. But there were only trees.

After a few minutes of just being dragged by Adrian, he spoke again.

“Do you know the name of this place, Felicity?”

She kept walking without answering.

“You’re going to die either way, so you might as well talk to me.”

She huffed a bitter laugh, struggling to keep up with his pace. “And make my last moments even more miserable? No, thanks.”

He eyed her for a moment before smirking. “I wasn’t sure you were his type, you know? But I can certainly see the appeal.”

“Heard that before.” She whispered under her breath.

“So—you don’t know how it’s called then?”

“Lian-Yu means Purgatory. I’ve been here before.”

“Yeah, I know. You dragged Oliver back home to keep killing other people’s fathers.” His voice dropped and she stumbled at the chilliness in it.

“I took him home to help him find another way— and he did. He’s a hero—“

He stopped walking and turned to her in a blink, so fast he made her stumble back. His face a few inches from hers and the hand grabbing her arm tightened painfully.

“He’s a killer. A monster. And by helping him you’re as guilty as he is. And you’re all going to pay— I’m going to make him watch while all of you die--“

The anger that had subdued a little _rose_ again in her chest. It was _blinding_ and immediate and almost took her breath away.

She wanted him to stop talking.

Just _stop_.

And she just _reacted_. Without thinking about the implications or the after.

She hooked a leg around his knee and placing her hand on his chest she pushed, throwing him to the ground in one motion like John had taught her. She took the knife from his belt and without a second thought, she stabbed him in the leg. Not a mortal wound but enough to make him scream in pain.

And then she _ran_.

To where she didn’t know. She just ran through the trees. That was _stupid_. Adrian was mad and now he was pissed, which meant she was going to die for sure now. So stupid.

While her legs kept moving, her mind drifted off to Oliver. He was going to save the others, she was sure of that.

She just wished she could see him one last time. Tell him she loved him.

A blinding pain pierced her left shoulder and the force of the hit threw her forward. She fell to the ground screaming in pain.

An arrow was coming out of her shoulder.

And then he came into her vision again, standing above her. She saw the blood coming out of his leg and despite the pain, she smiled.

“That was a big mistake, Ms. Smoak.”

“Fuck you! Do you want to kill me? Get on with it!”

He gripped the arrow and without warning, he yanked it out of her skin. She screamed again into the forest, afraid she was about to pass out from the pain.

He didn’t let her. He grabbed her arm again and she was back on her feet, blood seeping from her shoulder to her chest and arm.

“You’re not going to die here, Felicity, when no one but me will see you. Where is the fun in that? No. I have so much _more_ in mind for you.”

He started walking again, this time keeping a knife planted to her back, dragging her with him.

 

* * *

 

Minutes later she was alone but her situation wasn’t getting better. She was chained to a bar against a wall—on a boat.

On a _sinking_ boat to be exact.

She was bleeding profusely and her arm was killing her with pain from being chained upright. She shifted a little and she could feel the stickiness of her own blood to her skin, soaking her shirt. Adrian had taken her there, chained her to the wall and after whispering some more evilness in her hear he just left.

At least she was alone.

Suddenly, a screen that she didn’t notice before on the opposite wall came to life and she froze. A boy was chained in the same position as her in a dark room.

 _William_.

“No no no. This can’t be happening.” She couldn’t find him, how could he?

Before she could think of anything else, another screen beside the other came to life, and this time it focused on John and the others being held in small cages. She breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed they looked unharmed.

And then the camera focused on him. _Oliver_. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him in his Green Arrow suit, standing in front of Chase. His eyes were dark and strong and he looked furious.

“ _Good._ ” She whispered to herself.

But then Chase spoke.

“So Oliver, are we ready to begin?”

“Free my friends, this is between you and me.”

“No Oliver, like I told Felicity before, no one on this island is _innocent_. And today, all of them are going to pay. And you’re going to watch.”

She could see the moment Adrian spoke her name because Oliver’s jaw stiffened and his shoulders went more rigid. “Where is she?”

Adrian smirked. “Oh, you’re going to love this.”

Felicity saw a little red light on the screen and suddenly all of them could see her. She forced herself to sit more straight, relax her features. She couldn’t let Oliver see her vulnerable and in pain.

She saw his eyes roaming over her even through the screen, checking on her. Making sure she was fine.

Except— _she wasn’t_. As soon as he registered the blood all over her, Felicity saw the rage in the blue of his orbs.

“What did you do to her?” He didn’t shout. He whispered the words between gritted teeth.

“I shot her with an arrow. I had to—she’s quite a fighter. She swooped me off my feet and stabbed me in the leg.”

A burst of pride sparkled in Oliver’s chest and he smiled.

Adrian spoke again. “But enough of that, I think we are missing another guest here.”

When Oliver saw William his legs almost gave out.

“ _No_ —he’s innocent in all of this! Let him go!”

“You can free him if you want, Oliver.”

“What?”

“See, this is what’s going to happen. Felicity is on the Amazo, and William is in a room on the other side of the island. You can choose who you want to save.”

“No--”

“Yes, you can go right now. No one will stop you, you have my word. Run this way and save your _son_.” He pointed to his left. “Run this way and save the _love_ of your life—" He pointed to his right. "--but you can’t save them _both_. You save one—knowing you’re killing the other. Prove to all of us that you’re a killer once and for all.”

Felicity’s breath caught in her throat.

He moved a step toward Chase. “You son of a bitch!”

“You don’t have much time Oliver. Either you save one, or they both _die_. I will hurry up if I was you—Tic toc tic toc.”

Just as he spoke, an explosion rocked under Felicity and the ship inclined. And then—she saw the water seeping into the room.

When her eyes returned to the screen her worst nightmare became truth. William’s room started to fill with water as well. And the kid was screaming in fear.

“ _No_ —”

So that how it was going to end. She was going to die drowning in an abandoned ship on Lian-Yu—because Oliver was going to save his son.

As he should.

Panic filled her but she kept her face clear from emotions—except one: _love_. Her eyes locked with Oliver’s through the screen and she smiled sadly at him.

"Go."

“No-” He shook his head a little and a single tear ran down her cheek.

“It’s okay.” She mouthed. “I love you.”

The water reached her feet and made her startle a little but her eyes stayed focused on him.

“Felicity-- I love you.”

And then he was gone.

“So your son it is, Oliver! Good! I knew you would make this choice. Run—We will watch Felicity die. Right, John?”

“Fuck you, Chase! Let her go!”

John’s screams were the last thing she heard before the screens turned dark again. The water was around her waist now, and her survival instinct kicked in. If she was going to die, it wouldn’t be without a fight.

She planted her feet to the ground and she pulled to free her cuffs from the bar. The pain in her shoulder was too much and she slumped back down.

The water was under her neck now.

She tried to slip her wrists from the cuffs but they were too tight.

The water was under her chin and this time she focused her strength to think about Oliver saving his son, John and Lyla, her mother and even her father.

And just as she took her last breath, she let her love for Oliver fill her completely. Oliver was _peace_ and _safety_ and _warmth_ and that was the last thing she wanted to remember.

And she _did_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two! :)  
> I hope you'll like it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Let me know what you think :)
> 
> As always, I apologize for any errors you might find, English is not my first language.  
> I'd love to read your thoughts and suggestions.  
> Happy reading!

_I'm wrapped up and waiting for you_  
_I've lost so much more then i'll ever know_  
_The past, the truth forgotten_  
_find me now_  
_Before I lose it all_  
_I'm crying out_

 _Rescue me_  
_Show me who i am_  
_'Cause i can't believe_  
_This is how the story ends_  
_fight for me_  
_if it's not too late_  
_help me breathe again_  
_no, this can't be how the story ends_

 

 

The next time she opened her eyes she was spitting water off her mouth. She was drenched—but alive. How was that possible?

Unless—"William!" She snapped upright and when her eyes landed on the man standing in front of her she screamed, jerking away from him.

 _Slade_.

A very drenched Slade, dressed in full Deathstroke armor smirking down at her.

"Easy, dear. Or you're going to hurt yourself even more."

The voice of the man that had filled her nightmares for the past three years reached her ears and she shivered.

"Slade—"

"The girl with the glasses- We met again, at last."

"What—?"

"I know, I should be killing you instead of saving you—But I have a deal with Oliver, he sent me to take you out of there. It seems we are on the same team— _for now_."

A chill ran down her spine. She shook her head a little. "William—"

"He's safe. Oliver saved him. Your little friend Chase didn't anticipate Oliver coming to me for help."

"Yeah, neither did I."

When she tried to get up from the ground she hissed in pain. Slade took a step toward her but she moved away.

He simply smiled. "Press on that wound or you're going to die by blood loss- and I need you _alive_."

She pressed with her hand and she hissed again. "We need to go."

"Oliver ordered me to take you to safety."

She moved to stand, leaning on a tree. " _No_ , we're going back to the others."

"Ms. Smoak—"

She held her hand up. "Listen very carefully Slade, we need to help the others so you're going to take me back— _right now_. You underestimated me once before and it cost your freedom—the next time is going to cost your life."

"Or I could kill you without even blinking—"

"You want to kill me? _Get in line_ , half of the people on this island wants to do that. But I don't think you will—You've said it yourself, you need me alive to get whatever Oliver promised you. So—take me back to the others."

Slade stared at her for a long moment, before smirking. "You're playing a dangerous game, Ms. Smoak."

"I'll take my chances."

"Fine—This way."

 

* * *

 

They walked for half an hour and finally, they reached the spot she saw on the screen. The cages were open and hell was breaking loose. Everyone was fighting everyone. She could see John, Dinah, Thea and Curtis fighting against the League and Black Siren.

And then she saw Oliver fighting against Chase.

Slade turned to her. "Take this. Stay put, don't move." He put a gun in her hand and then he ran into the fight- and for a moment she was glad he was on their side.

Hooking the gun in her jeans she watched for a long moment unsure of what to do until she decided to move to another spot.

She wanted to help them, and maybe she could find a way to do it. On the other hand of the camp, she saw a truck and she could bet that inside there was something she could use.

She crouched down, trying to stay hidden.

When she was near the forest's limit, a hand grabbed her on her bad shoulder and threw her on the ground in the middle of the fight.

She gasped from the pain, trying to raise.

"Felicity!"

She turned her face to the sound of his voice and she saw Oliver strode to her, fighting the people in the way. He placed himself in front of her and started fighting with the soldier who attacked her.

And then, all happened in a second like she was living in slow- motion.

She was still half on the ground when she saw Chase a few step away pick up a gun and pointed it straight at the back of Oliver's head.

He was going to kill Oliver from behind his back like the _coward_ he was.

No time to _stop_ him. No time to _warn_ Oliver.

And just like before in the forest, she just _reacted_. Action—reaction, It was that simple.

She drifted from the ground and just as she heard the shot being fired, she pushed Oliver out of the way.

The first thing she felt was _fire_. Hot blazing fire down across her left side. She didn't see Slade tackle down Chase and Oliver screaming her name while throwing himself at Prometheus. She didn't hear John scream for her, or Thea's or Curtis.

She was focused on the blood staining her already bloody shirt- and all she could think was: how much _blood_ can a person lose before it's just too much?

When she tilted her head up again, she saw Adrian on his knees, without weapons and with Slade behind him—his blade near Chase's neck.

And Slade was smirking. Right at _her_.

He was smirking at her because she had her _gun_ pointed straight at Chase's forehead. She didn't even realize that she had taken it out of her jeans and that she was holding it up with her good arm, aiming right between Chase's eyes.

And in that moment- all became still and _silent_. Nobody existed except the gun and the man in front of her.

She couldn't even feel the pain, the numbness that was slowly creeping up her legs— _nothing_. She could only feel the _anger_. The _rage_. It was consuming and hot and it was spreading in her like a fire, keeping her upright.

After all the years with Oliver and John, she always thought that giving the chance she couldn't kill a man. That was simply not in her to do something so drastic.

She was _wrong_. She was _done_ with all of this.

Adrian Chase was going to die. She was going to _kill him_.

All the reasons why she shouldn't do it just seemed irrelevant compared to all the reasons why she should. He deserved to _die_. For all the pain he caused Oliver, her—for Billy and William and everyone else on that damn island and not. For making their lives a living hell for the past year.

Her finger caressed the trigger _slowly_.

She would kill him and end this _madness_ once and for all.

"Felicity—look at _me_."

Oliver's voice slipped inside her head.

"Listen to me—put the gun down." _No_.

She was amazed that she hadn't lost consciousness yet, that she was still standing given the gravity of her injuries.

"Focus on me— _Please_ , look at me. "

She did. She shifted her eyes to him for a second. He looked worried and scared- his hands were up toward her and he was slowly approaching. She heard John behind her. "Felicity-" Oliver moved his eyes to his friend and shook his head, telling him silently that he would handle this- handle her. Then he turned back to her.

She didn't need to be handled. She needed it to be _over_.

"It's okay Felicity, we won. Everyone is safe—"

She shook her head a little. It wasn't okay, and they weren't _safe_ \- not until Chase was alive and breathing.

"Do it, Ms. Smoak. End my life—give up to the rage and shoot me, just like I shot you! Prove me that he made you a killer like he is-- prove me what I've known from the beginning! I made him kill Billy, an _innocent_ -"

Her jaw clenched. The finger on the trigger _twitching_.

"Shut up!" Oliver's shout reverberated through the field.

His eyes turned soft, his voice gentle.

"Look at me, baby. Don't _do_ this- Put the gun down. He isn't worth it—"

Yes, _he was_. Because they didn't deserve any of this. But Adrian Chase deserved to die.

Her finger trembled on the trigger.

"Felicity—you're _hurt_. Put the gun down and let me help you— _Please_."

And like a reminder, the pain finally came crashing down on her like a tornado and she gasped, her throat constricting. She placed her other hand on her stomach, surprised to find the wound still bleeding. She was drenched with her own blood.

It was _too much_.

Her legs gave out and she collapsed on her knees, the gun still pointed at the monster in front of her—simply refusing to _let go_.

If that was her last moment, she was going to  _use it._

She placed her finger steady on the trigger—and Oliver dropped on his knees in front of her.

_In front of the gun._

Her hand _shook_. She struggled to speak. "M-Move—" She tasted blood in her mouth.

"No. I love you too much to let you do this. _Please_ —I can't lose you, Felicity."

There were tears in his eyes, silently running down his cheeks.

A sob wracked her body and she dropped the gun, her strength leaving her completely as she fell in Oliver's arms. He placed his hand over hers on the wound, screaming something to John.

"Stay awake. Don't you dare leave me—"

She gasped in pain. Her body arching from the ground. "I can't—"

She could feel herself slipping into unconsciousness. She gripped Oliver's hand.

"G-Glad you're ok—"

"Don't—You have to stay awake, please Felicity—"

Her eyes slipped shut—and all turned black.

 

* * *

 

The next time she opened her eyes she was sure she was dead.

And yet she was alive— _again_ , and she was engulfed in light.

She crept her eyes open and she scanned her surroundings. She was on the back of a little plane, on a hospital bed beside the windows, a lot of tubes sticking in her arm—and it was early morning. She turned her head toward the light and for a second she let the sun warm her skin.

Oliver was sleeping half draped on her, sitting on a chair and his head was pillowed in her lap. The rest of the plane was silent.

The pain in her body was subtle and silent—but it was _there_. A reminder of what the last two days had been like. Her shoulder and side were bandaged and stained in red.

She shifted a little and Oliver moved against her, waking up.

"Felicity?" He moved from her lap up to her face and his hand cradled her cheek. "Thank God."

"What-?"

He brushed a few strand of hair away from her face. "You're _okay_. We're okay—all of us."

Her hand gripped his. "John—"

Oliver squeezed her fingers, brushing his lips against her skin. "He's here—He's fine."

Her eyes went wide and she tried to sit up. "And William? Is he okay? He was on a screen and I saw him—"

He gently pushed her back down. "Shh—he's fine. I got him in time."

She slumped back, closing her eyes. "Thank God—"

"I'm sorry I didn't come to you—"

She shook her head, placing her own hand on his cheek. "You saved your son—I wouldn't have wanted it any other way-"

He nodded, kissing her forehead. They stayed silent for a long moment, just staring at each other, _smiling_.

"We need to _talk_ about it, Felicity—"

Her eyes closed and she turned her head toward the sun. He took her hand to his mouth, kissing her palm.

"There's not much to talk about. I would have done it—"

When she looked at him again, he shook his head a little. "I didn't mean that. I mean _yes_ , we need to talk about that but-"

Felicity's eyebrows furrowed a little. "Then what-?"

He silently placed is other hand on the bandage covering her side.

"Oliver—"

He moved closer, cupping her cheek. "You put yourself in front of a bullet that was meant for me—"

She shook his head, their foreheads touching. "That bullet was going to _kill_ you— And I couldn't warn you, Oliver."

"You could've been dead— _for me_. You—"

"What was I supposed to do? Let you die right in front of my eyes?"

He cradled her face in his hands, locking their gaze. "You never— _ever_ , put yourself in harm's way for me."

"I will If I have to—just like you do for me."

His forehead touched hers again. "I thought—when I saw you standing there bleeding, I thought—" He was trembling against her and her hand slipped to the nape of his neck, holding him close. " _I'm here_ —I'm fine."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

His lips moved from her forehead to her mouth in a _kiss_ that was sweet and full of emotions that both of them were keeping inside for a long time. When they broke apart his forehead returned to hers like magnets. They breathed the same air for a while.

"Is _he_ alive?" The words were whispered between their faces and Oliver nodded against her skin. "He is."

"Why didn't you let me do it?"

He moved back a little to be able to look at her in the eyes.

"You know _why_ — when I say I can't lose you, I don't mean only physically. I will always _protect_ you, Felicity—even from yourself."

"I can't explain it. I-I only felt rage, Oliver. _I still do_. Blinding and hot and I didn't know how—" She took a deep breath, her hand closing into a fist on the bed and a few tears running down her cheeks. "If you—I would have done it. I wanted to- I wanted to _kill him_ for all the things he's done to you, and Billy and—" more tears ran down her cheeks and he wiped away with his thumbs, his fingers slipping into her hand releasing her grip.

She shifted on the bed and he laid down beside her, holding her close while she cried.

"What does that say about me? What does that _make me_ , Oliver?" More tears flow down her cheeks.

He caressed the skin under her eyes, kissing every bit of skin he could reach.

" _Human. It makes you human_."

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to read your thoughts and suggestions. 
> 
> I will reply to your comments as soon as possible!  
> Thank you :)


End file.
